Raymond vs Landlord

Tomorrow, rather, later today, I am meeting with the landlords to discuss rent and repairs. Yesterday's (tuesday's) blow of receiving the "pay or vacate in 3 days" notice tacked to the outside of the door settled in as a personal defeat. How I detest that feeling! I knew the moment I opened my eyes this morning that today would be a bit melancholy...I feel disconnected from Greg and other guys in my small group...and others I care so much about... rolling over, cuddling blankets, wanting answers, praying that it would all just go away. Why does Satan know my weaknesses? And why must he insist on using them against me? WHY do i let him have any authority over me??? Pastor talked about fairy tales on sunday... guess I was hoping to wake up to the spell being broken and our house transformed and restored. Sadly, reality affirms that fairy tales are for children and do not exist in this world of materialism and greed.

Lord, help me show Your grace and strength to our landlords. Help me to speak with patience. Give me ears to hear what is truly being said - help me be slow to anger. Please help resolve this situation for the betterment of my friends and neighbors and those that live here. Please give me insight to the plans you have for this house and those that come in contact with us. Help me rely on You. Please change the minds and soften the hearts of the landlords, blinding them to their greed. This whole situation is in Your hands.... .. .

Happy Easter!

Good Friday service was really good this year. Was this the first time I've been to Good Friday? It was a busy day. Mowed 2 lawns and washed a very dirty car and 3 SUV's. Super gorgeous day and in the mid 70's. Love it when the weather is nice. Had Easter brunch with the Andersons...mexican. I made cheesy cheddar homemade bread, but it was really doughy inside. They were kind with compliments... it tasted ok, but was really doughy. Erg! This always happens when you want to make a good impression. Sat in the front row at church which I never do... Pastor Richard was hitting a point home and actually wacked me on the knee! I felt every eye turn to me and my face go beet red, but still, I tried to play it cool... pretty funny really. Glad I wasn't sleeping!

Spring

Is it just me, or is time flying by for everyone else? It's time to talk about some good things. Of course, 39 days since the fire and things are still in disrepair. For example, the maintenance/contractors have scrapped off some of the charred and burnt bits in the carport, added new 2 x 4's, and painted over the blackened surfaces. Obviously, this can't be up to code, nor can the musty mildewing carpet that they flooded last week... but this is a blog of good things today.

First take a look at the new video feature. I filmed the Bellagio fountains while in Vegas a couple weeks ago. It's kindof silly, but entertaining just the same, aaaand without nudity which is hard to come by in Sin City.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5133793719680086677&hl=en

The sun shown brightly today. There's still a brisk coolness in the air, but oh, how the heat of that glowing planet warms my soul. Today, I had a man to man talk with a friend and learnt a little bit more about the birds and the bees. I worked on a flyer/poster for a friend which confirms that I am not a graphic artist... however, she was kind enough to give me her approval. I spoke with an individual whom I've tried to befriend, but have always gotten the sense that he didn't like me. Turns out, it was all in my head. One friend is getting more excited as the interview process furthers for a job that is one of a kind. He's a little inexperienced, however, certainly more than qualified to make things happen. I had nacho's and a ham and cheese sandwich. I was given four terrific seats to the Mariner's (including paid parking) that I was able to pass on to one of my guys to share with his friends because of a meeting prohibiting me to go... Turns out that I wasn't really that bummed I came away from the meeting quite encouraged.

It's stil funny to think of myself as a mentor. My burden tonight was not feeling much of a spiritual icon. Sure, our meetings go on for about 3 hours and we have been highly focused on relationships, encouraging one another, building each other to be the men Christ has called us to... so in these respects, I am confident things are ok. My weakness is not being quiet and asking for the Holy Spirit to speak to me and even through me. John 14:26 says that the "Counselor... will teach you all things..." I get all caught up in what I can do instead of listening and allowing things to be done through me. How feeble, my own ambition! Others at the meeting were very encouraging and even went as far to say that I've been an example to them! The consensis ultimately, was that we all need to listen to the Spirit and have someone walking along side us, guiding, encouraging, correcting, praying...

PHEW!

This last week has flown by, right up to this very morning! I woke late, in a panic, interrupting a very pleasant dream with lots of my friends (lots being too many to fit into a picture) outside on a hot sunny day, by a lake filled with giant orange salmon, laughter and smiles around, to a non sounding alarm clocks (yet again) alerting me to be ready for my 8:45. Sleeping through my alarms is not so unusual, but dreaming is. My heart is still racing from the lickety-split whirlwind of getting ready.

The week has also flown by in that I've not had a chance to mention that this time last week, I was in Las Vegas. It was a quick business trip that I was able to employ four friends. We worked hard and played hard (except for the day we layed by the pool which could actually -in my book anyways- be interpreted as "working" hard). We finished the labor part in two days with two days to spare. So, we drove to the GC. On the way down, we were amazed by Hoover dam and the new, extremely high bridge they are building 1000's of feet above the existing road. It was nice to ride comfortably in a brand new 4runner. Lots of laughs on the way down, and amazement at God's handiwork. Who knew that a big hole could be so beautiful?! On the return, I longed to stop at In-N-Out, but everyone was crashed. I just drove and drove. I thought it was weird that the temperature was going up as the sun was going down, but didn't think much more of it. Evan work up wondering where we were. I told him, "7 miles from the border." He laughed and said, "What border?" I just shrugged my shoulders. Turns out that I didn't make a wrong turn... I simply didn't make a turn at all and landed us in the Mojave Desert. We had a good laugh, and if time wasn't such a factor, we would've kept on driving. All in all, it was a fun and relaxing trip. I didn't think about the depressing realities of home for 5 days with my friends by my side to keep me focused on good times.

In the photo: Ryan, Greg, Rob, Evan & Me

Day 26

It's been 26 days since the fire. To the right is what remained of the Silver Bullet. The carport is double wide. The fire started on the north side and she was parked on the south side. Flames climbed up the wall and ran across the ceiling, down the southern trellis creating an oven of intense heat. The drivers wheels blew, as did all the windows. There were lots of explosions. It's ridiculous to be attached to a car, but it was hard to see her towed away. A clear message from God that it was time that I let her rest in peace.

Repairs are coming along slowly. The house still smells of smoke. I just returned from a business trip to have reports of flooding in the basement room. So now we have soggy, mildew carpet smell competing with lingering smoke odor. Fans run constantly making it even colder in these high-30's temps.

I've tried numerous times to contact the tenant coaltion without any luck. I know that the landlords will be expecting rent soon, however it seems the conditions are not suitable for living. Where is the balance in exemplifing Christ and not getting walked on? Two guys have moved out already, a third is on his way out. I'm not reacting the way I typically would which is confusing to me. I still feel we have a purpose for being here...but also want to be smart in our decisions, not getting walked on, being a nuisance (without being a jerk) so they will want to sell the house, keep peaceful relations so they don't jack our rent up in the fall. This situation is so frustrating....I wonder if this is what it feels like to live in Ukraine.